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  #21  
Old 01-24-2018, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jalexjsmithj View Post
I guess the real question is, if he'd have offered to give y'all the drugs would you of taken them?


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Not with the cops on the way
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  #22  
Old 01-24-2018, 04:55 PM
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I actually said 'don't you have anything better to do' during a seat-belt ticketing.

That almost got real bad.
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  #23  
Old 01-24-2018, 05:15 PM
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I got caught going 13 over and believe I said something like, couldn’t you wait an extra minute for someone to go 16 over, cause you get 40 more bucks in revenue out of the ticket
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  #24  
Old 01-24-2018, 07:58 PM
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So, not a cop story but involves hospital security guards.

When I got out of the military I decided to go on a fuck-tour of all the chicks I went to high school with that I thought was hot. One particular girl I was fooling around with that summer was named 'Kelly'. "Kelly' and I were fucking around one night when the pushing started feeling suddenly better. That is when I realized the condom was gone. My friends, I looked. Man did I look. That is when I realized the condom was in here vagina. I tried to dig it out, but could not find it. The more I dug the madder she got. Finally she said she wanted to go to the ER. She was tripping out and mad as all hell. So, we go to the ER. She gives me her purse to hold while she goes back to get this thing pulled out of her snatch. She is taking for ever, and I am broke, so I start digging through her purse for change as I walk to the vending area. As I pass a pair of security guards I hear Kelly yell..."Hey, that guy has my purse!"
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  #25  
Old 01-25-2018, 02:00 PM
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Haha... one of my buddies found one in his girlfriends when she returned from a trip back to her home town. Uh oh... took him a long time to get over that.
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  #26  
Old 01-25-2018, 02:18 PM
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What's a condom?
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sloup View Post
http://slaterscoops.com/news/2018/1/19/exclusive-jets-wr-robby-anderson-arrested-again-in-south-florida

So Robby Anderson got arrested and told a cop he would find his wife, fuck her, and nut in her eye. That sounds to me like the dumbest thing you can say to a cop.

But for some reason, I get the feeling that some of you bozos might come up with some even dumber things to say to a cop. The bar has been set, who can get under it?
That's pretty dumb. I haven't been doing police work for very long but "I only had a few beers" is always a good one.
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  #28  
Old 01-28-2018, 08:02 PM
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How's this one:

Policeman: "I'm doing you favor by giving you this ticket"

Alleged Traffic Offender: "Um, Actually, you are not"
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